Success At a Price

I'll post about our Christmas soon, but first I thought I'd update everyone on our bedtime situation with Matty since so many of you were kind enough to respond to my post about it.

We tried laying down with him or sitting in the hall. No luck, he kept hitting or getting out of bed. We tried another suggestion of reading him a portion of a chapter book each night. Still didn't help. It seemed he just wasn't sleepy enough to go to bed until 10 PM or later. So given that I had no other options, I decided to try one last thing. It was my last hope and something I REALLY REALLY didn't want to do. So what was it? . . . . . Drugging him. No, just kidding!! It was cutting out naptime. :(

He takes a 1.5-2 hour nap each day and always falls right to sleep. Of course, he's so TIRED from not sleeping at night, who couldn't fall asleep then??? I was hoping that by not napping he would be tired enough to go right to sleep at bedtime.

The first day was this past Sunday. We let him sleep 30 minutes while we were driving to my parents' home, but that was it for a nap. That was the day we saw the lights at Temple Square, so we didn't get home and get him to bed until 10. He almost went right to sleep that night (given how late it was.) Throughout the week we tried "quiet time" a few times, but he didn't really get it so there wasn't much quiet. Once or twice he fell asleep during that time. I let him take a 15-30 minute catnap then woke him up. HARDEST THING EVER to wake a sleeping 3-year-old when you just want to enjoy the peace and quiet!! I was praying it would pay off. We had one night where he went to sleep at 9, then 2 nights of 8:30ish, then tonight was just before 8!!! So PROGRESS!! He only gets out of bed once, if at all, and he hasn't hit us in days. Hurray!! It is super hard to not let him sleep during naptime because he is still soooooo tired at that time of day, but hopefully he'll adjust eventually.

I really miss my quiet "me" time in the afternoon with both kids asleep, but if giving that up for a peaceful evening with no more contention from the screaming and hitting, then so be it!!!

Now if only we could break him of his habit of waking up too early which started weeks ago. . . and of course get Jossy to sleep well at all. . . .we'd be set. :)

Thankful Thursday: Christmas Edition

Only 1 thing today.

1. The greatest gift of all. The birth of our Savior is a remarkable and humbling story, and one I know to be true. His birth wouldn't have much meaning without the life he lived and the the gift he gave each of us in choosing to give up that life that we might live with Him and our Father in Heaven again. His atonement not only provides a path for redemption, but it means my family can be together forever. And that, to me, is a gift I am inexpressibly thankful for.

Merry Christmas everyone!!

Our Christmas Card to You

I didn't get out all my cards this year, but this is the photo I used for them. So if you didn't get one even though you sent us one, I'm so sorry!! I promise we love you and your card is proudly hanging on my wall!

Thank you all for your friendship. Hope you have a merry Christmas!!

The Nativity

I saw this for the first time back in my college ward during ward prayer. I loved it so much that every year on Christmas Eve when we watch the Luke II video produced by the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we turn the volume off and play the song "Breath of Heaven" along with it. I should've known that someone would've put the same thing on YouTube.

If you haven't seen these two put together before, I hope you enjoy it! It's one of my favorite things.

Family Photos

Matty got to wear his first little suit to church yesterday and Jossy had on a really cute Christmas dress (thanks to Tiburon passing it along!) They looked so cute, I couldn't pass up the chance to get some family pictures together in front of my parent's tree (since we were visiting while waiting for it to get dark enough to see Temple Square.) I'm learning that it's near impossible to get two kids to be happy at the same time for pictures, so not many turned out. But here are a few:
I'd share more but I figure that by now you're probably tired of looking at pictures of my family (given the last several posts.) I'm just trying harder to make sure we get pictures of ALL OF US occassionally instead of just the kids. I'd much rather take pictures than be in pictures, but I don't want to spend their whole childhood behind the camera and have none of us all together!

Choo Choo!

Matty absolutely loves trains! My dad has an electric train that he puts around the Christmas tree in his room each year. Matty loves watching Grandpa's train and asks to see it year round. Sunday was our first visit since the train got put out this year, so of course that's where Matty wanted to be! He and Grandpa probably spent over an hour in that room running the train round and round the Christmas tree. I had more fun watching the train buddies together than watching the actual train.
Once Jossy was up from her nap, she watched the train as well. She wasn't quite sure what to think of it (it can be a little loud,) but at least she didn't cry!

Lights at Temple Square

I moved to Utah when I was 12, and ever since then my family made it a tradition to visit Temple Square to see the lights on Christmas Eve. Dan and I have enjoyed continuing that tradition each year with our own family. Last year we did it a few days early because a bad storm was coming Christmas Eve and we didn't want to be out and about in it. I really liked having Matty in bed on time Christmas Eve last year since we weren't out late, so we decided to see the lights early this year, too.

We were there Sunday night. It was freakin' freezing outside even though we were each wearing two pairs of pants!! Matty enjoyed the lights and Jossy . . . endured.

A few highlights:

Matty throwing a penny into a wishing pond.

He said he wished for a sheep. Two in fact.
We'll see about that.Jossy, the red-nosed reindeerWater + Curious Boy + Cheap Gloves = Freezing Fingers
(Yet he wouldn't stop!)

We got home WAY late, not sure why. Maybe it was getting there an hour later than I wanted to. Or maybe having to pull over halfway home so that I could nurse a screaming baby had something to do with it. Who knows. I'm still glad we got to continue our tradition. I only wish it hadn't been so cold (or so late) so that we could've had more time to see everything.

Baby Jackson

My friend Shandra just had a beautiful baby boy named Jackson. She asked me to take some pictures of him, and I was more than happy to. This was my first time taking pictures for someone else, and I really learned a lot. Here are a few of my favorites. It's hard to narrow them down when you have such an adorable subject!!

Trust me, he's even cuter in person!!

Thankful Thursday

Despite another horrible night with Matty (yep, the laying down with him didn't work) and being let off the hook for Thankful Thursday from Lisa W., there are still a few things I feel thankful for this week.

1. Friendly people in line. Long lines seem to be a hazard of the season. So it's always nice when you find yourself standing next to Friendly Frances instead of Sam the Scrooge. Kind people around you really can help standing in line seem not so bad.

2. My mom friends. I would be so lost without my friends who help me survive the struggles of motherhood with their empathy and advice. I sat in the back of Relief Society this week talking the entire time to a friend who has had similar struggles with one of her sons. I know that was incredibly rude to be talking through the entire lesson and I hope the teacher didn't notice too much. But no one there had any idea just how badly I needed someone to tell me I was normal for being so angry and wanting to just quit at times this whole mothering mess. My friend gave me some suggestions of things that had worked for her son, and even though they didn't work for Matty, I just feel grateful for her friendship and compassion. I left there feeling more hope than I'd felt in a while. I consider that conversation a tender mercy from the Lord.

3. My husband. It's been so horrible the last two weeks with Matty, and I feel infinitely grateful for a husband who is much better at keeping his cool than I am. If he had a job where he was gone late at night . . .I don't even want to think about it.


Come on, if I can think of something to be thankful for so can YOU!

At Whit's End

I don't know what to do anymore. Matty has been going through a terrible phase lately. It started about two weeks ago. He's always gone to bed sooo well, and even if he didn't fall asleep right away (which was typical) he'd lay in bed fairly quietly for hours singing or playing with a car or two he was allowed to have in bed. BUT NOW.... it's like a little demon is unleashed every night!! We have a bedtime routine, and he does totally fine during that part of the evening (usually.) He gets into bed fine, we give hugs and kisses, and then we leave the room. About 1-10 minutes later he comes running out of his room laughing and HITTING us!! That's the part that really bothers me, his sudden violence, laughing the whole time!

We've tried sticker charts, bribing, holding him down, threats, taking toys away, letting him have more toys in bed, letting him have books in bed, spanking a couple times (he just thinks that's funny,) praying together, guilting him into it, locking him in his room, and a million more things, but NOTHING IS WORKING!! Some have fixed the problem temporarily, but 5 minutes later he's back to being just terrible! Every night ends in tears (for him and for me) and Dan and I just do all we can to hold ourselves together and not let our tempers go crazy. IT HAS BEEN SOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!! We both have to be home now in the evenings because it really takes two of us to get him to bed. When one starts to lose it, the other needs to be there to take over. That means Christmas shopping has become almost impossible because no one can leave the house in the evenings to go out by themselves and get it done. And it's not like I can take Matty along during the day to shop for his presents.

I think he's realized that there's only so much that we can do to make him behave, so he just keeps pushing and pushing and pushing! I know Super Nanny's thing is to just take them back to bed 50 billion times but I don't think any of those kids were hitting and kicking their parents. Not to mention, have you ever noticed that she's never helped a family (to my recolection) who lived in an apartment?? I can't let him throw his toys for long during his fits because it's super loud for our neighbors and I don't want him distroying the apartment! I'd like my deposit back someday! Plus, I have a freakin' BABY trying to sleep right next door to him. Since she doesn't sleep well, we're frequently in there trying to put her back to sleep, and several times Matty has come in and hit us or thrown things at us laughing while we're trying to put her back down. We have to ditch the crying baby (who was ALMOST back to sleep) to go hold him down for timeout. Jossy doesn't calm down easily at all once she's worked up, so it's takes 5x's as long to get her to go back to sleep.

Matty finally calms down around 10 and goes to sleep. It's only THEN that OUR quiet time begins, so I end up staying up way too late (midnight or 1) because I HAVE to have some time without the kids to get things done, clean up, or just to enjoy some ME time! Then, of course, I'm up several times a night with Jossy. Matty's also started getting up way earlier than he used to and our efforts to get him to stay in bed a few more minutes have similar results to the nighttime battles. Dan and I are beyond exhausted. Both of us being so tired means we snap at the kids and each other more quickly than normal. To be honest, the whole situation is just really hurting our family.

Matty's great during the day, or at least he's his normal self. I just don't get what changes in his brain at night that he thinks it's okay to hit, kick, slap, and disobey so readily. He knows it's wrong! I just don't get it.

I think I've avoided writing about this whole situation for several reasons. Partly because it's our tendency to want to just share with others the good parts of our lives and not the bad things. I don't want anyone to judge us or think Matty is a little beast. He's not. He's such an amazingly sweet kid, just not at night anymore!

There is ONE thing I know of that I haven't tried yet to keep him in bed, and that's laying down with him until he falls asleep. I didn't want to start that because then I'd be tied down every night, but how's that much different from now??? If that's the only way to bring peace back to this house, then I may just have to do it. Our family just can't take this anymore. If that doesn't work either, I guess I can always run away to the Funny Farm.

A Stroll in the Snow

I needed to run to the post office this morning for stamps, but when I saw the unplowed parking lot I knew there was no way my car was going anywhere. So call me crazy, but I bundled the kids up and we walked to the post office. It only takes about 10 minutes to walk. Of course, it's only that short when Matty's not stopping every two feet to throw a snowball at me. (He also threw them at some elderly women in our ward, but thankfully they were all good sports and started throwing them back at him!)
Jossy apparently was comfortable enough all bundled up because she fell asleep during our walk. Matty had a blast. I'm glad he could get out at least a tiny portion of his endless amounts of energy.

Funny story: We saw this pickup truck having a really hard time getting out of our parking lot. His wheels were spinning like crazy, and he was fishtailing it all over. There was a little sedan patiently waiting for him to get out of the way so they could park. Once the truck was gone the sedan pulled smoothly into a parking space. 4 elderly women climbed out of the car (the ones who Matty later threw snowballs at.) I said to one of them, "Wow! That truck was having all kinds of troubles but your car did just fine!" With a twinkle in her eye she said, "Well, we're just coming home from the temple. That's why we didn't have any troubles." :)

Thankful Thursday

I've been working on this list off and on all day. I guess it's about time I finally posted it.

1. Baby babbles. I love listening to Jossy babbling. I really prefer "momomom" to the shrieking and screaming she's been so found of.

2. A tiny girl. There are benefits to Jossy not growing much. I get more diapers for my money, her clothes are going to last her forever since she doesn't outgrow anything, and carrying around a carseat isn't nearly as bad on my back as it could be.

3. Friends getting pregnant. I'm so excited for Laura and Heather, sisters who have both been through their own struggles to get pregnant and finally are! Congratulations again ladies!

4. Gas prices. Did I really just pay $1.36/gallon today?? That's amazing!!

5. Food samples at Costco. Besides the lovely fact that they're FREE, they also taste good! Today I got brownies, peanut butter truffles, lasagna, BBQ Chicken, and Chicken somethin-or-other. All so yummy!!

6. Semblance of Sleep. I got better sleep last night than I've gotten for a while. First of all, Jossy only woke up ONCE besides her middle-of-the-night feed. That's huge for us! Because I threw my back out weird yesterday and could hardly move, Dan got up twice with Matty when he had nightmares and I was able to stay in bed. I don't count on getting that good of sleep anytime again soon, but it feel very thankful for at least one night of it!

7. Pictures printed off. I printed out my pictures today from the last 2 months. I don't even want to admit how many pictures I have to print out every few months, but it's a lot (even though I only print out a portion of the ones I take.) I love having tangible photo albums to look through as opposed to just files of them on my computer.

8. The Biggest Loser. Love this show. Entertaining and inspiring!

That's it for today. So . . . . what are you thankful for??? Care to share?

"Santa's really real!"

We had our ward Christmas party last week. When I let Matty know that Santa would be there, he asked me all day if Santa was real. I kept saying, "He'll really be there!" (I really don't want to outright lie if I can avoid it.) That didn't satisfy him but I managed to get the subject changed.

Matty was really excited when Santa and Mrs. Clause arrived. When it was our turn, Matty went up to Santa and without saying anything gave him a HUGE hug!! That's a big deal when you consider this was what is was like last time we got him to take picture with Santa 2 years ago:
(I'd cry, too, if I had to sit with a grown man wearing those socks.)
Last year he was still afraid of Santa. So I'm glad he's seemed to have forgotten that phobia.

We took a few pictures with all of us. I knew there was no way Jossy was going to sit on a stranger's lap, let alone one who looks like Santa does. So I figured I could just hold her and I'd still be able to get a picture of her with Santa for her baby book.
We were told beforehand that the kids could bring their letters to Santa and deliver them in person. So I helped Matty write one which he took joy in delivering.
As Santa was leaving, Dan ran up to him and asked if we could get it back or get a copy or something so that we could have it as a keepsake (being his first letter to Santa and all.) Santa kindly gave it back to us and didn't seem to think we were too weird for asking.

As we left Matty said to me, "Mom!! Santa's really real! He's really real!"
So sweet. :)

Picture Catch Up

There have been a few totally random, unrelated pictures I've wanted to share but haven't had the time. So here they finally are all clumped together in one post:

First, for Karla because she asked to see the matching couches now that they're both covered.
Jossy bends and twists herself into the weirdest positions.
A few just because they're cute.
Silly Matty
Just in the last few days Jossy has learned to get up on all fours. Now anytime she's on her tummy, she raises herself up.
Matty enjoys feeding his puppy/sister now that she's eating cheerios and such.

Antidisestablishmentarianism

You know it's too late at night if the baby is finding everything Daddy says hilarious.



She was laughing even harder before I got the camera out.

Our Elf Family

I had seen the ElfYourself thing going around, but wasn't going to take the time to do one for our family. Then today I got an e-mail from my friend Val who had a little too much time on her hands at work and made one of OUR family!! You can click right here to see it yourself. I figure I should share it since she put in the effort to make one. :)

Sorry, I'm not paying the money to download it so I can post it here. You'll just have to put in a little extra effort to see a video this time by clicking a link. :)

A Little Too Little

For all of you who have told me how tiny Jossy is, turns out you're right. We had her 6 month checkup yesterday and her height is fine but she's actually LOST 4 oz in the last 2 months. Not good. She dropped from above the 25th %tile to the 5th. Her doctor wasn't concerned at first. He said a lot of breastfed babies slow down at this point. (Matty actually did the same thing between 6 and 9 months, but he kept gaining, never lost.) But the more I told the doctor about Jossy (like the fact that she hardly ever "soaks" a diaper anymore, they're just barely wet,) the more concerned he became. He wants me to supplement with formula 1 or 2 feedings a day. And since she doesn't like baby food, I can start giving her cheerios, broken saltines, etc. just to get her calories up and get her used to solid foods. I have to take her back to the doctor's in a month for a weight check. She needs to have gained 1 lb. Right now that feels like a million.

It's hard not to personally feel some blame for this. I know my supply isn't what it should be. I never had a problem with Matty, but that's because I only had one baby and was able to focus more on taking care of myself like drinking lots of water and getting plenty of rest. Now I constantly forget to drink water and I'm getting almost no sleep. I'm in an almost constant state of exhaustion, and I'm sure that's not helping things. I can make myself be better nutritionally, but there's not a ton I can do about the lack of sleep. She's up crying for hours every night, and Matty doesn't exactly let me nap during the day when she does.

So we fed her some broken cheerios last night to see if she'd take them. She loved them even though she choked on a few. They don't melt very well in her mouth so I'm off today to buy her things that do (like Gerber Puffs.)

Sucking on a cheerio

Matty enjoyed her cheerios, too.

Thankful Thursday

It's hard to be in a thankful mood right now when I have a baby screaming her lungs out in my bedroom. She's coming down with something and got shots today. Add that to an already poor sleeper and you have a recipe for disaster. So here's some forced merriment:

1. Lullabies. Even if they don't calm my baby down, at least listening to them helps me stay a little calmer.

2. A remote for my camera. We got got it in the mail yesterday after ordering one last week. I'm happy not to have to bother with the self-timer anymore.

3. Cheesecake. Dan brought a little bit home from work yesterday. Once the kids were down, I took a minute to relax and thoroughly enjoyed every bite. (Man, I wish I had some right now...)


Okay, I'm exhausted and it's been a hard day. That's the best I've got to give right now.

All Dolled Up

I tried taking some more pictures of Jossy the other day. Not so easy with a 3-year-old climbing all over me and a baby who is being less than cooperative, but I did manage to get a few worth sharing. The one above is Dan's favorite.