Nine

Yesterday was our anniversary.
I won't say it's been 9 years of complete bliss or that married life has been perfect because that would be lying.


I will say, however, that it's been 9 years of happiness, making up after fights, and getting to know eachother.


It's been 9 years of learning weaknesses and overlooking them, holding hands, and stealing kisses when the kids aren't watching.


9 years of trying to put the other first.

9 years of patience and compassion.

9 years of birthdays, holidays, and making our own traditions.

In short, it's been 9 years of love.

9 years down, eternity to go!

Sibling Love

I wanted pictures of all 3 kids together while Lacey was a newborn, but there was no way I was up to doing it at the same time as her newborn session (which took 2+ hours.) About a week later I finally felt gutsy enough to haggle the 3 on my own into some pictures together while Dan was at work. It's weird even looking at these because Lacey looks so different to me now. I ended up using some of these for her birth announcement so they'll look familiar.

I especially love this first one.

Kindergarten's Got Talent

We went to Matty's kindergarten talent show this morning. His teacher did such a great job putting it together. We got to hear the kids all sing together and then each performed or talked about a talent they have.

All the kids singing.
Figured I'd point out Waldo.

For Matty, we decided that writing stories and drawing pictures is a talent of his, so he wrote a book especially for today and read it to everyone. If I wasn't so lazy, I'd scan it in and share. It's called The Blue Jay and Super Squirrel.

We practiced this at home a few times, and when we'd clap after he finished practicing he'd give a half smile but try to hold in the rest. We told him it's okay to smile when people clap. It shows them you appreciate it. So today when everyone clapped, he started with a half smile but then remembered what we said and changed to a big one. I only have a picture of his half smile. Unfortunately, at the end of his story Lacey started choking (a common occurrence from her reflux) so I was dealing with her and didn't get to see his proud smile, but Dan saw it.

When I asked Matty afterwards what his favorite part of the talent show was he said everyone clapping for him. That made me happy since he felt so awkward with it when practicing.

After everyone was done sharing their talents (and there were some awesome things shared!), we watched a little movie the teacher had made of things they did throughout the year in an ABC's format. I wish I could thoroughly explain how awesome it was. The kids loved watching that and remembering all the cool things they've done. I loved seeing it, too. It made me sad that Matty's time at Kindergarten is almost done!

Each kid had their name and picture on the screen when the first letter of their name came up. I took a picture of Matty's shining moment.

We left with armfuls of paintings and pictures they had done over the year. (What to do with the gigantic ones???) We snapped a quick photo with his awesome teacher Mrs. Terry. She's been so great for him, and I'm so glad he's had her this year.

Just 2 weeks left of school for him!

Birth Announcement

When you think about it, birth announcements are kind of a funny thing to do in this day and age when everyone is so connected by technology. It's not much of an announcement when we've already let everyone know she was born. Nonetheless, I still send them out to family who keep them and friends who won't see one online. For everyone else, I hope you'll forgive me for sharing it this way. It sure saves on printing and stamps. :)

One Month

Lacey is officially one month old today! I'd say "Where has the time gone?" but I know the answer to that question: It's gone to hours and hours of nursing and even more hours of being up all night with a newborn! We measured Jossy's monthly growth by taking her picture with a Koala each month. Lacey gets to be measured against this cute black bear.

I love having Lacey in our home. She loves being cuddled, sucking on her binky, and staring at anything with a light and dark contrast. Most of the time she sleeps horribly (like an hour at a time) but she's so cute I'll forgive her for that. She sleeps so well in her carseat as we're out and about that it almost makes me want to glue her in there at home and run a CD of "Sounds of Shopping" all day. Lacey has reflux, so we're trying to help her with that with meds, but I'm not sure how well it's working. She's grown out of newborn diapers just because of her height. She has only smiled at me a handful of times, but each time I feel like throwing a parade it's so darn sweet!

I'm excited to see how she changes in the next month!

Newborn Portraits

Get ready for an avalanche of pictures!!

The only reason I hadn't shown these yet is because I didn't know how to narrow down which ones to post! There's just too many! So I guess you get to see a lot.

I took these when Lacey was just 1 week old.

For the record, Dan got seriously pooped and peed on for these next ones. Really, I have never seen a baby go that much in 5 minutes!! But Dan hung in there and we got these super cute shots.

I actually have a few more to share in a couple days from a session with Matty and Jossy. I'm just waiting to mail out birth announcements and then I'll show them. :)

"How are things going?"

I've posted lots of pictures of the last few weeks since Lacey was born (she's 3 weeks now!!) but I really haven't said very much about how we're doing and how everyone's adjusting. So this post is to answer those questions.

First question everyone wants to know the answer to is how she's sleeping. We've had maybe 2 nights where she only woke up every 2-3 hours to eat and went right back to sleep. Those were glorious nights, but not the norm. She definitely sleepy all night, but she wakes us up all night long to have her binky put back, she's spit up everywhere, or she has trapped gas. (And before someone suggests it, gas drops aren't helping.) She sleeps sooooo much better when she's snuggled, and putting rolled up blankets on her sides just isn't fooling her. So a couple times a night she'll end up in bed with us (a big no no, I know) until it's time for her to nurse again. After getting up 5 times in 5 minutes to put her binky back in or comfort her, I just get so desperate for sleep that I give in and bring her to bed. So yeah, sleep isn't going great but I know it could be worse. We'll survive . . . somehow. Sometimes I think not going to bed at all would make it easier to be up with her than catching 10 minutes of sleep here and there and being woken up 20 times.

Next thing people ask me is how the other kids are adjusting to her. Matty's always accepted change without any issues, just like his dad. He's good at getting me diapers or helping get Jossy snacks when I ask. He doesn't goggle over Lacey like Jossy does but he loves her and shows concern for her. Jossy is always hugging her, trying to kiss her and singing songs to her. It's cute but she definitely gets in my way. Jossy's been going through a horrible phase that started about 8 weeks before Lacey was born, so honestly most of my energy is spent trying to deal with her all day long. And no, I don't think it had anything to do with the baby coming or finally arriving. I think she's almost 3 and she's showing it. Matty went through the same horrible phase around 3 1/2. We chose to cut out Jossy's naps the week after Lacey was born because she was fighting me so bad at nap time and bed time and couldn't fall asleep at night for hours. I just got too tired to fight her twice a day. So though I absolutely am mourning the loss of nap time (especially since it happened RIGHT when I need it the most,) we're having less fights at bedtime. And she and Matty watch a movie every day for quiet time, so I try to at least rest on the couch then.

As for my recovery, this has been my easiest experience. Since my tearing wasn't as severe this time, that's really helped me feel better sooner. For the most part, I easily adjusted to 3 kids. I get a little overwhelmed sometimes but that's more those moments when Jossy's throwing a fit, Matty's egging her on, and Lacey's screaming to be fed. I've only had the "baby blues" for like 2 hours in the hospital. I still don't really have my muscles in certain regions feeling back to normal, but I still have several more weeks til that's expected. I finally got over the cold I had during delivery only to have just a week off from being sick before getting another one. :( I just keep praying Lacey doesn't get it.

People ask me if Lacey's a good baby. What does that even mean? Is there such a thing as a "bad" one??? If she's not hungry or tired, she's pretty content to lay on the floor and just watch the world around her. She's becoming alert more often. At her 2 week appointment she was 7 lbs 7 oz (so 4 oz above her birth weight) and 21 inches. I have a hard time believing that she grew 2 inches in 2 weeks, so someone's measurements must be off. She got a clean bill of health at her checkup. That's all I can ask for. She spits up like crazy all the time, something I've never had a problem with in my other kids, but I'm not worried. We just make good use of our gazillion burp rags . . . and I'll probably have to clean my carpets again soon.

In the midst of taking care of 3 kids, I'm trying to keep the house running. There's often wet diapers left in the living room and old food on the table that no one's thrown away yet, but we're trying. We've been working out in the yard a lot, too, so that's taking whatever energy I have left at the end of the day. Jossy's also decided to use the potty every now and then, but I'm not training her yet. She's doesn't totally have it down and I'm cleaning up enough baby accidents as is. We'll get there but I'm not going to stress about it right now.


Okay, that's enough rambling about myself. I've got a sleeping baby right now and a 2-year-old happy on her own for the moment. If I run maybe I can get 2 seconds of sleep! . . . but the sound of me laying down will problem set off Lacey's alarm and wake her up. Such is life.

One Lucky Mom

My journey to become a mother was not an easy one, and now that I am one not every day is filled with hugs and happiness. But I feel so lucky and blessed to have the 3 wonderful children that I do. They may make me want to pull my hair out some days, hide in my closet and never come out, or even break down in tears over the frustration of trying to get them to go to bed. But I can't imagine anywhere more important for me to be than here at home raising them. They are my life, and I'm so thankful for it.

Matty made me this gift at school and gave it to me the moment I woke up this morning.

I feel so bad I forgot to wear this necklace to church! But I will definitely be sporting it tomorrow! :)

First Real Bath

Lacey's cord took quite awhile to fall off, so it wasn't until yesterday that we gave her her first real bath. She didn't like being put in the water, but once in there she seemed to like it okay. It was so much better than when we used to bathe baby Jossy and she screamed so much she turned bright red every time!

It's so fun going through all these firsts again with another child!

Lacey's Birth Story

I guess it's time to share the story since I know several people who have been waiting and really want to hear it. I haven't wanted to rehash it, but time has helped me deal with it better. It seems so long ago now. Be warned though, it's really long. I cut out a lot of details just to keep it under novel length. Personally, I love reading others' birth stories.


I got called around 10:20 AM the morning of my scheduled induction asking if I could be at the hospital in 20 minutes. I had been told before that I'd have 30-60 minutes warning, so I wasn't ready at all. But Dan and I threw everything together quickly and ran out the door. Of course, once I got there I had to wait almost 20 minutes for a nurse to even come start anything. (Good thing I rushed over there!) I was already dilated to a 4 and 80% effaced when I showed up.


I got hooked up to the monitors, an IV was started, and I was given my antibiotics for being GBS positive. I needed to have 4 hours of antibiotics before the delivery, so since my last labor was fairly quick, my midwife and I decided to do 2 hours of antibiotics before starting labor. These two hours were pretty uneventful. I watched some TV shows on the laptop and Dan ran home for my pillow we had left behind. It was during this time that I learned that my nurse and I weren't going to get along the best. She was nice enough, but she was so blasted confident that she knew just how my body would respond to everything. No matter what I'd tell her about my past labor experiences, she was sure that her 20 years of experience as a nurse and 4 babies of her own trumped what I knew about my own body. Very frustrating. Not to mention they were very busy on the labor and delivery floor that day, so it took 2 hours to get a simple box of tissues brought to my room after I asked repeatedly.

Around 2 PM we called the anesthesiologist to place the epidural. I never had problems with my other 2 epidurals, so I didn't anticipate anything would go wrong other than my blood pressure drops when they first start it. I warned him of this, so he said he'd take it very slowly and that should help. Honestly, the guy was horrible at it. The local numbing that they do before they place the main epidural needle didn't work too well. Plus he was working SOOOO slowly, and I felt way more pain having it placed than the other two times. Combine that with leaning over in a weird position so he could do it and I just wasn't feeling great. Dan and my nurse were helping to hold me up in case I blacked out . . . and that's exactly what I did. They just held me in place so that the guy could finish his job without paralyzing me, and I came to about the time he was done. I felt HORRIBLE from blacking out. I was shaking, sweating, and about ready to throw up. My muscles were all tight and cramping because apparently I tightened them all when I was passed out. (Weird, but they said that was normal for some people.) The know-it-all nurse then told me that I only blacked out because I was so nervous and it was a mind-over-matter thing for me. WHAT!? No Lady, I was in pain and in a position similar to one that made me blackout at the temple a few weeks ago. It really bugged me that she said it was just "my nerves." ARG! I was less nervous than my last 2 epidurals, so why would that make me blackout this time??? We waited awhile (maybe an hour) before starting pitocin to get my blood pressure under control since it had indeed fallen drastically and was having a hard time coming back up.

Then the epidural caused more problems. I went numb in my upper right back and my right breast, but I could still breath so they didn't worry about it too much. I was more numb on my right side than my left, but again no one worried because my contractions weren't "painful" though they still took my breath away and I could feel all of them. When I complained about the catheter hurting (which I shouldn't have been feeling) the nurse said, "Well that's easy to fix! We can just pull it out! I'll put it back in when you need to go." Why didn't she understand that if I could feel pain from that, I was probably going to feel pain from a baby coming out very soon??? She kept telling me she was sure I wouldn't. I felt pain from internal exams as well. NOT what you want with an epidural. At 4:15 I was still at 4 cm, and at 5:45 I was 4.5 cm, 90% effaced, and had a "bulging bag of waters." I couldn't believe that I had only dilated another 1/2 cm after hours with the pitocin, but my midwife said it was pretty normal for it not to do much at first. She offered to have my nurse switched since I was having such a rough time with her (I was in tears a lot because of her) but I didn't want to cause problems. Plus, I knew that her shift should be ending around 6. I was crying so much over everything that my midwife also gave me the option of actually quitting it all and going home. She said as long as my water hadn't broken that was still an option. It was seriously tempting, but I didn't want to have to go through all of this again, so I had Dan give me a blessing and stuck it out.

I just have to interject here how thankful I was for my midwife. She lived on my street until a few months ago, and we served together in nursery. It was so nice to know that she was in charge and not the crazy nurse. I always felt confident that even if the nurses wouldn't listen to me, my midwife would and she'd make sure things happened the way she and I wanted, not the nurse. It was a huge blessing to me that day to have a friend like her looking out for me!

At 6 it was abundantly clear that I was numb in places I shouldn't be and feeling things in places I should be numb. We called the anesthesiologist again, and a different one came. He wanted to try a different concoction before completely taking it out and starting over. It made things heavier, but I could still feel places I shouldn't. We thought we'd have time to give me something to rest or maybe reinsert the epidural, but around 6:30 I learned that I was suddenly 8 cm, 100% effaced and the baby was at 0 station. So there was going to be no time to redo the epidural. And apparently dilating so quickly made me very nauseous, so I was feeling horrible. Add that to my crying several times over the last few hours over how things were going and I really didn't feel up to pushing out a baby. I felt sick, exhausted, and emotionally drained beyond belief. Unfortunately, delivery doesn't wait for you to feel better. My midwife broke my water about this time. She tried to comfort me and tell me that I'd hold my baby soon and likely wouldn't feel pain for very long since I only pushed 1 minute with Jossy. I didn't care about holding my baby at this point, I just wanted this pain GONE! Mrs. know-it-all nurse got off her shift around this point and I got someone new just in time for delivery.

I started pushing at 6:51 PM, and it was the most excruciating thing. (Need that even be said?) The epidural apparently didn't work one bit when it came to anything below my uterus. I had the hardest time pushing at first because I didn't want to cause myself pain, so I wasn't doing it as well as I did with a properly working epidural. Eventually I figured it out and just screamed and yelled through it, bawling here and there between pushes. Once her head was out I felt a LOT better, but was still in significant pain until the rest of her came out at 6:57 PM. Dan was scrubbed up and helped deliver her with the midwife (which according to him means he just kind of helped catch and place her on my stomach.) Dan said that Lacey started crying before she was out all the way, which everyone in the room agreed was unusual. Since he got to help deliver, I asked if I could cut the cord this time.




The first thing I noticed about her was her dark hair. I thought I finally had gotten my black-haired baby, but we learned it's more dark brown once it was dry. She cried and cried and cried until she discovered her middle fingers. Once she got a hold of those, she wouldn't let them go. She LOVES to suck. We have to get up a lot at night to put her binky back in because she's so in love with it. She nursed easily in the delivery room, the most natural nurser of all my kids. I learned that I had a first-degree tear, which was smaller than my other deliveries. Unfortunately, the local anesthetic didn't seem to work well so I felt all those lovely stitches as I got sewed up. :( It didn't hurt as much as childbirth, though, so I couldn't complain too much.


Though I was freakin' exhausted, I really wanted to try to go down to the nursery with her and Dan so that I could witness her first bath, something I've never gotten to do before. It wasn't the funnest thing to sit in a wheelchair that long right after giving birth (and with the nursery backed up due to so many babies), but I'm glad I got to participate in that experience this time.


It took me several days (and more crying) to really process all that had happened. The whole experience seemed so surreal, like it couldn't have actually happened that way. I had played a million scenarios in my head before the birth of things that could go wrong, but an epidural not working for me just wasn't anything I had even considered since I had experienced two perfectly placed ones. I felt so unprepared for that. When I expressed to my midwife how hard the whole thing had been for me to digest (she had the exact same thing happen to her by the way), she reminded me that the induction itself actually went perfectly. It was just that darn epidural and my nurse that were the problems. She helped me remember that everything was fine with me and fine with Lacey, and that was the most important thing. I think it just took some time for me to grieve the loss of the idea of how the birth would go (which I expected to be as smooth as my other two.) And really, my midwife was right. The induction itself went just fine.


And in case you were wondering, everything that know-it-all nurse and I disagreed on, I ended up being right about. :) Too bad she left before I could prove it to her.